There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
