what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
