All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
