I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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