Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
