Porn is love you can see.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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