please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
