great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize