Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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