i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
