Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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