The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
