Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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