sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
