he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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