And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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