Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found your dick twin last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
