It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
