Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
