I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
