4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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