Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this

Fav 10 5069 1539
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

Fav 17 12046 1495
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(952): View more from Minnesota

it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table

Fav 5 2147 916
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(201): View more from New Jersey

U took a sewing needle to his nipple

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Psshh,

Fav 5 1009 1826
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(678): View more from Georgia

You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.

Fav 3 1191 1631
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(325): View more from Texas

You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...

Fav 6 1400 1228
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(443): View more from Maryland

dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car

Fav 2 1547 1000
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(640): View more from

I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"

(640): View more from

Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.

Fav 0 19 59
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