He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize