as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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