I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
