Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
