so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
