Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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