areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
