I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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