so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize