I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
