so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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