What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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