tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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