I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
