Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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