well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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