even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
