you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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