HIV tests are more positive than that guy
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
