is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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