Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
