A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
