seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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