??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
