He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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