At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize