party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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