the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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