OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
