I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
