Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
