He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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