do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You're like the curious george of whores
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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