somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
