Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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