i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
