I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
worst night to have a conscience
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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