anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
