Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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