I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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