My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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