he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize